Goodbye
by SilverOpals394
Summary: Hermione is in love with Severus, but she is convinced it will never work out. What happens when she can't ignore her feelings an longer? There is now a sequel entitled "Hello".


Disclaimer: I own nothing, it all belongs to the brilliant Ms. Rowling.

~Many, many thanks to my beta, Tevildo- you rock!~

**Goodbye**

_He'll never love me like I love him. _ Hermione looked out the window and sighed_. In his heart, Lily will always be alive. _Tears started to fall and she knew what she had to do. She took out her quill and wrote Severus a letter.

_Dearest Severus, _

_Yes, I called you dearest. Why? Maybe because every time you enter the Great Hall my heart skips a beat. Maybe because the way you carefully stir a simmering cauldron makes my heart beat fast and all I want to do is take you into my arms and kiss you passionately. _

_But enough of that. I'm not writing this letter to tell you that. I'm writing to say goodbye. You have stolen my heart irrevocably, and sadly, I know my love is unrequited. I don't blame you for anything. I know you still love Lily. Harry showed me your memories. Don't be angry at him, it only made me respect you more. How could I ever compare to a love so strong? I just can't. So I must say goodbye._

_I simply cannot continue my apprenticeship with you because my feelings are getting in the way. I can't look at you without staring, and my work suffers. I don't care how close I was to finishing, I can't take it anymore. If the Ministry needs anything from me about the training, I can be reached by owl._

_If you don't hate me for this, please write to me sometime in the future. I can't begin to think of a world where you don't exist at all. But in loving you, my heart is breaking._

_Please, always remember that you are the most intelligent, courageous man I have ever met. Never doubt yourself, Severus. I love you._

_I will be gone by the time you read this. The only way I could bring myself to confess my heart is in the knowledge that I will never see you again. I'm sorry I couldn't bring myself to say this to your face. So much for Gryffindor courage._

_Goodbye, my beloved Severus. I will never stop loving you. _

_Forever yours, _

_Hermione_

She left the letter on his desk, with a green ribbon tied around it, where he would be sure to find it in the morning. As she walked down to the Apparition point, her heart ached. With one last look back at the castle, she turned and disappeared.

*****

Severus sneered. As he sat in his living room, firewhisky in hand, gazing into the fireplace, he tried to think of a logical explanation for Hermione's behaviour that day. _Why did she avoid looking at me? She seemed so distant. We usually get along so well._ Severus certainly wasn't a jolly person, but the two had developed a friendship over the past two years of her training. He enjoyed her company and was grieved to think she might not reciprocate his feelings. _When did I fall in love? It feels like she has always held my heart in her delicate hands. How did I live all those years without her to give me a reason? I'll love her more than she'll ever know._

Delving into his own mind, he thought of his past. _Lily. Yes, I cannot deny I loved her. But now I see it was truly a friendship. I didn't even know what love meant at all until Hermione. How I love everything about her! The way her eyebrows furrow together when she is concentrating. How her chocolate eyes beckon to me._

His secret love was burning inside his heart, and suddenly, he knew he had to tell her. Gathering all the courage his Slytherin mind could muster, he wrote her a letter.

_Dear Hermione, _

_Lately, my heart has been beating awfully fast and I'm afraid that if I don't take drastic measures, it will beat right out of my chest. So I'm not going to be particularly subtle, although that's what I would prefer. I love you. In fact, I am so in love with you that I feel there is no reason to exist without you. You are the most beautiful creature that has ever graced this planet and you continue to amaze me every day. I understand if you do not love me back. I don't deserve it. If this letter makes you feel uncomfortable in any way, feel free to leave. I will certify that you completed your apprenticeship. You have certainly done enough work to qualify as a Potions Mistress. Congratulations._

_If, by some miracle, you do return my affections, would you care to join me for breakfast? We could go to Hogsmeade—any shop you wish. I will be waiting for you in my office in the morning. I truly hope to see you in the morning, my love._

_Yours, _

_Severus Snape_

After carefully reading and re-reading the letter, Severus threw it into the fire. He couldn't bring himself to tell her so much. _What if I scare her away?_

He got a fresh roll of parchment and wrote another letter.

_Dear Hermione,_

_Congratulations. You have completed my requirements, and I am composing your certification this evening. I have been very pleased with your work. _

_I must say that the end of your apprenticeship is bittersweet. I have come to value your friendship greatly, and I will miss your company. _

_I would like to invite you to breakfast in the morning to celebrate. We could go to Hogsmeade, if you wish. I'll be waiting for you in my office. I truly hope to see you._

_Sincerely,_

_Severus Snape_

Finally satisfied with his note, Severus journeyed towards Hermione's quarters on the sixth floor. When he approached her door, nervousness washed over him. He could see the firelight of her room casting a small glow through the crack under her door. He slid the letter under the door, knocked, and hastily retreated to the comfort of the dungeons, not knowing that Hermione was already gone.

*****

Severus couldn't sleep. His stomach was in knots. He decided to mark essays to pass the time. As he entered his office, rolls of parchment in his arms, he tripped and the papers went flying. He angrily began to clean up, but didn't notice when a letter tied with a green ribbon fell underneath the desk.

*****

There was a loud thump and suddenly Severus awoke. A paper weight had fallen to the floor. He had fallen asleep at his desk. Feeling stiff all over, he got up and stretched_._ He began pacing the room, palms sweating. He couldn't remember the last time this had happened. Severus Snape was an intimidating man; he never let anyone else get the best of him. Hours passed, and Severus knew that Hermione wasn't coming. Thoughts of self-loathing filled his head. _She must have left the moment she knew she was free. Our friendship didn't mean more to her than any professional relationship. I suppose I never suspected that it could. I don't deserve her anyway. She is better without me._

As the realisation hit him, Severus fell to the floor, overcome with grief.

_Goodbye, love._


End file.
